The 69 sex position is one of the most loved and hated positions.
Most guys love it cause we get to admire our woman’s pussy and ass while getting head. What could be better?
But when it comes to women, many hate it.
Why?
- If your girl is self conscious about her pussy and ass, she’s going to be a little stressed having them so up close in your face
- Women aren’t turned on by visuals the same way we are. Having your junk in her face isn’t a turn on the way it is for us.
- Finally, if she’s giving you pleasure, it’s tough for her to concentrate on the pleasure she’s receiving. That means your killer tongue techniques are being wasted because she will barely feel it.
The things that make 69 great for guys just aren’t present for women.
If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, then you’ve heard me emphasize the fact that women have different preferences. Nothing applies to 100% of women. Some do love 69ing.
Most don’t.
But here’s the biggest challenge with this position:
If she’s worried about what you’re seeing and thinking about her body, while being unable to focus on her pleasure, and feeling required to perform, her subconscious brain can start to associate negative emotions with blowing you.
In other words, she might start to hate giving you head.
So if you’re going to get into 69, you’d better make sure it’s a great experience for her.
Make sure she’s enjoying it and her subconscious brain can start to associate positive emotions to blowing you.
By using the tricks in this blog, you can actually make her love giving you head.
If you don’t, you could make her hate it.
Before I show you how to use the 69 position to turn your woman into a cock-craving nympho who wants you in her mouth every chance she gets, we need to get clear on the basics.
How To Do The 69 Sex Position
There are many versions of the 69, and we’ll cover a few of the best one’s below, for now, let’s start with the traditional version.
To get in the sixty-nine position, lie down on a bed, couch, or floor.
Your woman straddles your face and gets into a doggy style position, putting her face in your crotch and your face in hers.
It’s that simple.
If she’s much sorter than you, you might not reach each other as easily as you’d like.
The quick fix to this is to put some pillows under your head. It’ll save your neck and tilt your head forward, letting you makeup for the difference in distance.
If you’re a lot taller than her, a pillow or 2 under your head might not be enough. In that case, you can put a pillow or sex wedge under your pelvis as well. This tilts your pelvis towards her face. Now your head and pelvis are tilted and your entire body is curved while hers is straight. Making it easy for both of you to reach.
Now that you’ve got the position figured out, you both give each other oral.
At least that’s how it’s supposed to go.
What usually happens is that one person ends up giving mediocre oral (at best) while the other puts all their attention on pleasing their partner.
If you’re the one doing the pleasing, great! Have fun!
But if she’s the one doing the work and not getting any pleasure in return, it can have some nasty after affects.
So any time you get into this position, make sure you’re going all out and giving her the best oral you can.
Use The 69 Sex Position to Create Positive Associations in Her Brain
Science has shown over and over that prior preferences influence learning new habits and activities.
In other words, if she loves getting oral sex from you but doesn’t like giving blowjobs, you can rewire her brain and get her to love having you in her mouth by going down on her while you’re in her mouth.
Notice that I said while you’re in her mouth, Not while she’s giving you a blowjob.
Have the tip of your cock in her mouth while you give her oral, so that her brain associates your taste (and the fact that you’re in her mouth), with her pleasure.
If she doesn’t like giving blowjobs, that negative feeling could get associated to having you go down on her. Not what you want!
So instead of trying to get and give great oral in the 69 position, use it to give her great oral while you’re in her mouth and she will begin to associate great pleasure with having you in her mouth.
The best part is that you don’t even need to be in her mouth. If she just holds your cock close to her face while you’re going down on her, the smell, feel and look of your cock so up close to her will get associated with her pleasure.
If you make her come while she’s got your manhood up close to her face, you’ll take things to the next level and her subconscious brain will associate feelings of euphoria with having your man meat in her face.
Here’s a few tips on how to make this positive association more likely.
Have Realistic Expectations
If you go into the 69 sex position thinking that you’re going to give each other the most powerful orgasms of your lives simultaneously, you’re likely setting yourself up for disappointment.
Again, it’s tough to focus on giving pleasure, while simultaneously focusing on the pleasure you’re receiving enough to reach orgasm. The same is true for your woman. So if she’s blowing you, it’s going to be virtually impossible for her to focus on her own pleasure enough to orgasm.
Instead, focus on getting her warmed up and close to orgasm, so that you can then transition into a good cunnilingus position and make her come.
Or, focus on getting her warmed up and craving penetration sex. You’ll learn a few tips on how to do this below.
Focus on her
When you get into 69, you have 2 options. You can focus on the sensations you’re feeling in your penis, or you can focus on the sensations that your mouth feels when devouring her.
Focus on the sensations your lips feel when kissing her outer lips, the sensation your tongue feels when licking her opening, or the sensations your lips feel when sucking her clit. Do not focus on the sensations she’s giving you.
Warm Her Up First
If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you already know I’m a big fan of giving women multiple types of orgasms. If you’ve been through it, you know that in order to make a woman come, you must warm her clit up with indirect stimulation before giving her direct clitoral stimulation.
This is even more crucial when you’re trying to create positive associations before direct clitoral contact too early while you’re in her mouth, can create negative associations. Below, I’ll give you a few of my favorite indirect techniques, so keep reading.
Use your hands
In this context, I’m talking about using your hands on her body. Caress her butt, her sides, her back. Remember, you want her to focus on the pleasurable sensations that you’re making her feel, so give her lots of sensations to feel.
Make Her Come BEFORE 69ing
Once you give your girl an orgasm, she gets into a different state of mind. An orgasmic state. When she’s already in this state before taking you in her mouth, she’s going to immediately associate pleasure to your taste. Make her come with your mouth BEFORE getting into the 69 position and it’ll be easier to make her come again during 69.
Watch this video to make she comes first, every time!
How To Eat Pussy in the 69 Sex Position
If you’ve already been through some higher level training such as the make her come first formula, you already know the importance of stimulating her clit indirectly before you make direct contact.
How you easy pussy in 69 will depend on this one key factor: Are her knees above, or below your shoulders.
If your shoulders (and thus arms) are above her knees and thighs, you can easily bend your elbows, and reach over to rub her vulva with your fingers.
If your shoulders and arms are below her knees and thighs, you’ll have to reach around, over her thighs to reach. In this case, use your hands to caress her butt cheeks, back, hips, and thighs. Remember, you want her to focus on the sensations that you’re giving her… so give her lots to feel.
BONUS TIP: Get a firm grasp of her body and pull her closer. It’ll let her know that you love having her close and up in your face. IMPORTANT: Only do this if you can pull it off without diminishing the quality of your technique.
Here’s a few more tips:
- Kiss, Swipe, and massage outer lips with your hands, fingers and lips to warm her up.
- If she’s got long inner lips, suck and tug on em with your lips
- Avoid direct contact with her clit. Lick the areas around her clit first IE: licking the clitoral hood, then opening. Tease her clit by devouring the areas around it first.
- Once she’s warmed up and wet, give her clit one slow lick with a flat tongue to test out if she’s ready for more.
- Regardless of her response, go back to licking around the clit.
- If you got positive feedback from the direct lick, go back to it for a bit longer.
- Press a wet thumb pad against vaginal or anal opening.
- If you’re wanting to transition into penetration after 69ing, insert the tip of your thumb into pussy and pull up, away from clit. It’ll duplicate the sensations of being fucked and make her crave penetration.
Different 69 Variations
As always, one of the most critical factors that you determine if you’re a mediocre or great lover is how well you adapt to your woman’s preferences, sensitivities, anatomy, etc.
One way to make sure you’re adapting is to try out different position variations.
Here are some of the best variations of the 69 position and why you might want to try them.
#1 Classic 69 Sex Position
You lie on your back while your woman straddles your head while facing your feet. She then bends over in a doggy style pose. She can rest on your body but this can make you both extra sweaty and hot real quick. The alternative is that she holds herself up and creates a little space between your bodies.
If she’s much shorter than you, you can minimize the distance by putting pillows under your head and (if needed), your pelvis. It’ll “curl” your body a little and even out the distance.
#2 Classic 69 with an Angle
We’ve already talked about how your arm placement will make a big difference in how you can play with your woman.
Are her knees above your shoulders (wrapping your head) or below your shoulders (wrapped around your chest). What version you choose determines how you’ll be able to use your hands.
If you see benefits to both versions, you can have one arm above and the other below by being slightly angled instead of perfectly parallel to each other.
Now you can have one arm wrapped around her thigh and playing with her butt, while the other gets much easier access to her vulva.
#3 Inverted 69 Sex Position
Here’s where you switch things up. You’re on top and she’s on the bottom.
Some women actually prefer this so they can relax their body a bit more… but these women are in the minority.
Why?
Cause she has no control over how deep you go inside her mouth.
If you’re going to use this version, MAKE SURE you aren’t going too deep or fast. You actually want to be very conscious of everything she’s experiencing and make sure it’s not unpleasurable for her.
#4 Sideways 69
One of the most loved and commonly endorsed variations of 69 is the sideways 69 sex position.
Very simply, you get into the traditional version but you’re both on your sides. It makes it much more comfortable for the person who’s usually on top because neither of you have to hold up your bodyweight while getting to work.
Bend your lower leg a little while moving the other back or bending it in the air and you’re giving your partner a comfy place to rest their head. No neck strain necessary!
#5 Standing 69
You’re more likely to see this in porn movies than in real life. but if your woman is much smaller than you, you can try this one out for fun.
You simply pick her up, flip her around and go to town.
Obviously, you should only try this one out if you’re confident in your strength and she’s comfortable with it.
Make sure you don’t wander off too far from a bed, couch, ottoman or something else you could quickly and comfortably set her down on.
#6 Head Hanging Over The Edge
One of you lies down on the bed with your head hanging over the edge, while the other stands over their face and leans over.
It’s often recommended as a way for a girl to deep throat. The theory is that it makes her throat straight and therefore she’ll be able to take you in deeper.
In my experience, it’s not a great position for this. Here’s why: If she’s learning to deepthroat, it means she’s not that comfortable with it yet. So she’s going to be a little more nervous and likely to gag. Add to this the fact that blood will be rushing to her brain (cause it’ll be lower than her heart) and it can lead to some unpleasurable affects.
That said, it can be a good position to simply rest your tip in her mouth while you go off.
If you’re both into face sitting (where she sits on your face and basically grinds your mouth), this one is a fun option. You lie on your back while she towers over you and pleasures herself against your tongue.
She can lean over and stroke or suck you off, if she chooses.
#7 Threesome 69 Triangle
If you find yourself stumbling into a three-way, this position (also called the daisy chain) is the 3some version of 69ing.
You all get into a circle and please one participant while the other pleasures you.
If you’ve got a mirror above your play area, it’ll make this one all that much hotter!